The Arm

As the little sister, I am always on the defensive. My older sister is always trying to be in control. Who does it first, we cannot be sure, but to cope with my own discrepancies and sensitivity I make fun of my sister in one particular way. It was discovered last summer on the American road trip. As I packed the back of the car, Claire stood behind me with her neck craned and arm limply raised as if she needed to grab me in case the cooler was put in the wrong way. Ever since we were little it has been impossible to do a lot of things smoothly. Baking never worked out, usually I threw a fit and had to stop the project. Every time I feel Claire controlling me, I say, “Put away the arm away!” She is a REALLY good sport and laughs it off. We haven’t gotten to the point where we can make fun of my sensitivity, because when you are sensitive YOU CAN’T MAKE FUN OF THAT BECAUSE THEN YOU CRY.

I think Lily and I have run into this a lot. We share a bed and have no space, so tensions can be a little high occasionally (understandably, right?). Lily and I’s relationship has settled into a pattern which feels similar to the interactions of  Claire and I. I have expressed that it is my inherent reaction to assume that someone is trying to control my actions and Lily is really graciously aware of this. An observation, but as I get older the simpler it seems to be completely independent (and be in a lot of therapy).


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