Graduating from college is terrible. You have weird dreams all the time about worms worming their way into your body and destroying your life. I agreed to sign up for a temp agency in Seattle because I need to make money and be an independent person but the prospect of this makes me feel dead inside. My mother is putting pressure on me to go, otherwise I would just blow it off. I just feel more useless when I have to apply for a temp job while living at home with my parents. I also really dislike that my parents push me to do the annoying things I don’t want to do claiming that it will be a good learning experience. This is tiring. Having no stability is tiring. The prospect of living with my parents forever is tiring. I steal this from Lena Dunham all the time BUT “I am having a really hard time right now.” And I am, and everyone should feel sorry for me and tell me how much they love me and how they will send me money in order to provide a sense of security.
I asked my sister if I was going to feel terrified forever. She said no. I still feel really terrified.